Reality And Illusion

To maidens who are within the age bracket of 18-27 years, we are in the era of men getting married to young maidens within this age frame, make good use of your prime when you still got the hay, the older you become chances of getting married to the man of your desire narrows down.

The rich raise their daughters to be assets in their new-found-home away from home, they put in everything needful to make sure their daughters remain resourceful and useful away from home, the father knows some day she’ll be gone to build her home, so he first builds her in knowledge and resources.

This is the cultural perspective in Igboland when we still had value for the girl child, not a piece of trade now adays, in the époquial igbo culture, when a girl child is leaving to her husband’s home, she’s given gifts, costly pearls, fabrics, etc., it wasn’t like buying and selling like we have today ever since greed and poverty penetrated into our marriage system.

To maidens between the age bracket of 18 – 27 years, listen to me, for I speak the truth.
You have know you are a woman, time is your enemy, try and beguile time in every good means possible, men in their ways are comfortable setting down younger maidens, because biologically older women from 35 years up have some chances of giving birth to dull children “Mongolians” the Downs syndrome effect.

You don’t need to relax till such age when people will ask you, “how old are you?” You mention it and they walk away forever, men are attracted to younger maidens between 18-25 or 27 years maximum, hold this line and I know you can hold it.

I don’t believe in boyfriend and girl friend, it’s destructive and waste of time, get a wife or accept to be with a husband at any point you find the right person.

Don’t live your life like you’ve got all the time, you’re a woman, time is your greatest enemy, defeat it in your decision and choice, make early choice from 18 to 27 years, conclude child birth before 35/37 years.

In a poor family they position the girl child as a life time asset and cash lamb, the father makes a list of all his outstanding needs and tuck them up the wall’s cleavage waiting in blue hope the day a suitor walks into his trap.

At the age of 10, he said to his daughter, “You are my only hope, look at my roof, it’s leaking, look at your siblings they’re waiting for you, look around the neighborhood, our house is the oldest, it needs renovation, please don’t fail us” you say all these to your daughter, for what purpose?

These words build up in her thoughts, she’s inwardly stressed up, as she sets plans to find means to fulfil her father’s greed, her decision, choice and needs are from that point driven by her father’s her family’s need, finally she achieved it, at what price? At the price of her happiness.

The education and upbringing of the girl child should be to empower her to be useful to herself in her new-found-home, to be valued and respected in the society, it should be given without the intent of being an asset to her family, it’s un-kind to raise your daughter hoping she gives it all back to you when she grows.

She has two fathers, you and her husband, you are the first father, your role is to raise her to be responsible and acceptable by her second father without much retraining, give her the needed support she needs to be worthy to compete with others in the world, she should have that needed psychological comfort before leaving home; this will guide her wherever she goeth.

From 18-27 years you should already be in marriage or in the process, if you find the right man at 18 just marry, don’t let you personal illusions come in between you and reality, if your choice is right whatever your goals are he will push you softly through it, but the danger in early marriage lies in choosing the wrong person, but if you chose the right man even 18 years is good enough, between 38 to 40 you already have children.

Don’t you say if you marry at 18/20 what about your education? goals and dreams? the things you plan to achieve? Haven’t you seen successful women in their late 30 who have got grand children? What about your education? Haven’t you seen academic Professors in their late 30s who have got grand children, just plan well.

There is a unique organ God placed in you, the womb, don’t you know it has a half-life, i.e., it dies, we call the death of the womb a process, the menopause.

The womb makes the  woman, a man can transform himself into a woman with the technology of plastic surgery, but there’s one thing he can’t do, he can’t get a womb, despite the transformation he’s no woman without a womb.

35 years is pre-menopause, getting to 40 years the chances of having a child narrows down in some women, at 45 it becomes dangerous for both mother and child.

Nature is perfect it gives you early opportunities to make good choices, but at times illusions and things that don’t worth it distract us from the reality which reveals itself so bold at a point in life.
Education is good, it cures timidity and fear, but it isn’t a reality, with or without it you are what and who you are.

List the first 100 billionaire, how many of them have a PhD? How many PhD graduates work for them tens of hundreds, there is a difference between illusion and reality, this you must learn before knowledge itself.

Yes you need education, utmost education, but you need knowledge to separate illusion from reality and you need wisdom to interpret the place of knowledge and education in you life.

Your child is your legacy when you’re gone, your degrees will be forgotten, may be eaten up by rats, achieve the world, but most of all achieve at least a child, your degrees are just an ink on a paper, it has no life, push beneath illusions, ride on the petals of life’s reality and you’ll ever be fine, a child is worth more than any illusion you can achieve in this mortal world.

If you’re above 35 years and you read this, it isn’t intended for you, but don’t you worry, trust God and believe He makes all things new.

-Kanayo Ebuka