Is There A Perfect Wife?

Where can one find her? What qualities make a perfect wife. I will cite Proverbs 31 as a standard, then put up a brief discussion, and I hope it explains it.

Proverbs 31:10-31
“How hard it is to find the perfect wife.
She is worth far more than jewels.
Her husband depends on her.
He will never be poor.
She does good for her husband all her life.
She never causes him trouble.
She is always gathering wool and flax and enjoys making things with her hands.
She is like a ship from a faraway place.
She brings home food from everywhere.
She wakes up early in the morning, cooks food for her family, and gives the servants their share.
She looks at land and buys it.
She uses the money she has earned and plants a vineyard.
She works very hard.
She is strong and able to do all her work.
She works late into the night to make sure her business earns a profit.
She makes her own thread
and weaves her own cloth.
She always gives to the poor and helps those who need it.
She does not worry about her family when it snows.
She has given them all good, warm clothes.
She makes sheets and spreads for the beds, and she wears clothes of fine linen.
Her husband is a respected member of the city council,
where he meets with the other leaders.
She makes clothes and belts and sells them to the merchants.
She is a strong person, and people respect her.
She looks to the future with confidence.
She speaks with wisdom
and teaches others to be loving and kind.
She oversees the care of her house.
She is never lazy.
Her children say good things about her.
Her husband brags about her and says,
“There are many good women, but you are the best.”
Grace and beauty can fool you, but a woman who respects the Lord should be praised.
Give her the reward she deserves.
Praise her in public for what she has done.”

These are the qualities the Bible listed that make a perfect wife, Solomon after considering how hard it’s to find her, asked, “How hard it’s to find a perfect wife.”

A perfect wife isn’t a title it’s a quality, a divine quality, but where we go and fine her? In the church, in the school, in the market, in the street? Where does she stay, how does she look?

All these qualities listed by Solomon should be the qualities of every wife, because every wife is called to be perfect to her husband.

Every wife is a woman, but not every woman is a wife.
Who’s a wife? She’s a woman perfect only to one man.

No woman is perfect but when she becomes a wife then she becomes perfect to her husband alone.
Who’s a husband? A man who fills the gap of the imperfection of his wife, it’s the man that perfects a woman, let’s approach it.

It only takes a husband to make a woman perfect; if he tolerates, understands her weakness like she has none. God created a perfect woman from the beginning but disobedience debased her.

Every woman can become perfect, but it depends on how the man values and cherishes her.
If you treat her like she’s nobody, then don’t expect all the good qualities from her.

Treat her like a Queen, then expect the noble attitudes and attentions of a Queen, but treat her like a slave, then expect the response of a slave.

The woman responds to the type of care, attention and treatment she receives.
You can’t find a perfect wife out of the blue, you are the one to perfect her in the areas of her imperfection and weakness, if there’s anything not there, if there’s anything which makes her imperfect, she needs a husband to fill the gap, she can’t fill the gap by herself, because she’s weak to do that, she’s weak to understand some things, she’s afraid to trust strangers, but she’ll be comfortable in obedience to be remade by someone she trusts completely, her husband.

When she finds that confidence and trust in her husband she brings out all herself without anyone telling her.

A woman needs a husband not a man, a husband cares and cherishes, a man doesn’t care.
God made the woman and gave her to the man to lead her, guide her, and remake her in the areas she lacks strength to understand, it takes a husband to do this not a man.

A husband is worth more than a thousand men to a woman, open your curtain, look around the streets, there are handsome rich men everywhere, but a husband is different, a husband isn’t a man in the streets, a husband is a man who fills the gap of things not there in your life, such things you can’t see, such things you can’t grasp independently.

You may have the ability to keep hundred male friends, they are always available at your call to keep you company, and that’s brilliant, but deep down your heart you’re still empty, they can’t fill the gap a husband fills.

There are heights of awareness a woman can’t attain in life without a husband.
How can one walk without a head? If at all, she would walk the world cluelessly, the husband is head, the wife is the neck, they both need each other to navigate the world.

Some modern feminists would say, they are strong, and can live without a husband, yes I believe them, but let them check, even the leaders of feminism are happily married with children and husband, the major support they got in their career came from their husband.

Your earnest desire should be, “God give me a husband who will support me in the areas of my imperfection” when I say support, it doesn’t only allude to pocket-support but all round support.

God asked Adam what happened, instead filling the gap for Eve, he exposed her instead, a husband doesn’t expose his wife’s weakness no matter how dire, it’s his role to cover her up in knowledge and understanding, so many husbands are like Adam.

No woman is perfect 100%, before marriage, you’ve to study the areas of her weakness and be ready to fill the gap, if you check and you can’t be comfortable with it, then don’t start it.

We know women have a special interesting way they see things, and to understand the way they see things, you must tolerate, be slow to action, listen, and be patient.

When you met her she was calm, gentle and a lovely girl, and you got married, after a while she started giving you attitudes, what has changed? What happened? What happened is you failed to fill the gap, if you had filled that gap of tolerance and understanding she’s still that girl you married, filling the gap makes her that perfect wife, filling the gap encourages her to give all her best as listed by King Solomon.

The Devil knows the area of her imperfection, so he presents to you other girls out there who completes that 20% imperfection, but remember your wife is 80% while the girl out there the Devil fixed on your mind on is 20% perfect, is it wise to accept 20% and throw away 80%? this is the mistake many husbands make, they leave the gold at home in search of woods in the forest.

You left your wife who’s 80% perfect for another woman who’s just 20% perfect, you can’t see it now because the Devil has blinded you to ruin your life, but I want you to see it early enough, your wife is 80% perfect, anyone other than her is 20% perfect, no woman can be better than your wife, if it isn’t an issue of dark deception, or a matter of life and death, stay and search for whatever that isn’t right and fill the gap.

-Kanayo Ebuka