Sailing Without A Paddle

I am stranded in such a situation where I know what to say but can’t say it, I know what to do but can’t do it, for it’s a matter of bitter milk. He’s suffering, tormented psychologically, and emotionally dried up, he’s a friend from Bayelsa State Nigeria who’s also like a dear brother, but what can I say, marriage is a sacred terrain, I am severally indifferent not to say anything that would in any way fracture his marriage despite the fact I know he regrets every moment in the marriage.

Yet again, I am forbidden by the Law of marriage, the best I can ever do is to wish things get better, that she changes. Wrong marriage isn’t a guarantee to die young, he can be better in several ways, I wish he understands it.

We spoke this morning concerning his marital situation but I held back the necessary facts because I am not in the right position to take sides, things can turn around someday, people change, but I just hope she changes before she kills him with bad energy.

In what ways? I would want that he takes such a decision that won’t offend God, I would want that he handles it to keep his life without offending the woman and above all without assaulting the institution of marriage.

Yes, I know marriage isn’t a Heavenly thing, it’s purely earthly, but it can stop one from seeing Heaven. Wrong marriage tortures the soul; you can’t be sad, or slightly angry every day, and see the Kingdom of God.

I have no words to say, but he has to sit down and accept how to live further, life has no duplicate, I speak the truth, marriage doesn’t worth it at all to take a life, then why has he chosen to die? If eventually he dies, she keeps living, she persuades him to make love to her beyond his strength, to achieve this he takes dangerous substances that in time will damage his organs, he’s burying his life into her while he diminishes gradually.

Her word poisons, her manners and domestic approach to things are pungent like that of Delilah, her countenance hurts. She is beautiful and endowed but the beholder wishes not to have ever known her. She’s a maniac, can’t be satisfied by her husband, my friend is a victim, regardless of the fact he goes on drugs to satisfy her, yet his efforts aren’t enough, she roams the streets in secret in search of loose human dogs.

I am against divorce for God hates it, I am also not against him taking a walk to save his life, I can’t tell him the side to lean on, but I know there’re ways to handle this without being on any of the two sides. Concentrate on your health and mental stability, just forget about whatever she does, whatever she says, wherever she goes.

Focus on paddling your peace of mind, and let the boat keep sailing. Listen, you can’t donate 100% of your emotions to marriage/relationship without suffering like a Job, for this reason God gave you senses, use them. Be 50% emotional.

Be 50% sensible. I have a friend who is suffering, he donated all his emotions to marriage, while his wife donated all her senses in return, he’s dying slowly, and I can’t help it.

– Kanayo Ebuka